gilmangirl (gilmangirl) wrote,

Letter from my future 60-year-old self

Dear Tracy

I hope life's been good for you. I can see that you're leading a busy yet fruitful life at work and outside of work, what with all your dance, fitness, blogging and social activities. It's great to be occupied and socially involved, especially when it comes to doing what you love in life. After all, life is short and you only live once so live it well and beautifully.

At my age, I am starting to take things slow. I still like being out there socializing with people and learning new things but nothing beats being at home with the people who matter most to me - my loving husband and my children. They're all adults now and like you, they lead that busy life where they're out there doing things that I don't seem familiar about. Oh well, at least I've got my hubby for company. :)

25 is an age when you're like an adult yet not so. It's an unpredictable stage when you don't seem to know what your future might be. At that age, you're probably asking yourself whether you would be happily married with kids in a few years' time or whether you would be that career-minded woman who is single and free. You are scared that the future you have envisioned for yourself is different from the one that you clearly wanted in your heart. As much as you see life optimistically, reality can hurt when things eventually turn out differently and you realize that you've got to be prepared to adapt to unexpected changes.

So here's some words of advice from a (hopefully) wiser me to guide you in this journey of life.

1. Don't plan so much because it's good to follow your heart sometimes.

Remember when you were in university, you had your heart set to be a clinical psychologist? You stressed yourself over performing well academically in all your psychology classes and aimed to take that Masters programme when you graduate, only to realize that you weren't comfortable working with mentally ill clients or dysfunctional families when you were on your job.

Sometimes, things don't turn out the way we have planned so take things with a pinch of salt and follow what your heart tells you. What are you able to do and what do you enjoy doing? Seek this out by trying different career paths. Be open to opportunities.

2. Love and never stop loving.

I know that you had gone through numerous heartbreaks that made you lose confidence in love as well as your own attractiveness. It also doesn't help when the people around you are attached/married and others have also been pressuring you to find a partner before you turn old.

Relationships need time to build up and such matters cannot be rushed. In fact, relationships are complicated because aside from mutual attraction and chemistry, they also depend on timing and fate. If things are in your favour, you might be in a loving relationship with the next guy that comes along in your life. But if things don't turn out the way you wanted, you might spend the next few years getting rejected, friendzoned or even hurt by different guys. You might even go in and out of relationships because they just didn't work out for you.

But so what? Every relationship you go through teaches you something about yourself and what you want in a partner. It teaches you how to live with someone or love someone beyond his flaws. So don't give up on love. Rather, treat this process as part and parcel of learning how to work through relationships so that you can 'save the best' for the last guy in your life, who is your husband! :)

3. Do not give up on the things that make you happy.

Remember how dancing always brings a smile to your face no matter how bad the day has been? It's like being transported to another world. You've been obsessed over hip hop and pole dance ever since they came into your life but I was also glad that they added lots of light to your life.

And how about blogging? It sounded silly at first when you seemed to like writing your thoughts and feelings on the web for the whole wide world to read but that was also because you felt fulfilled writing for a pool of readers. You liked it when readers write emails to you to commend on your writing style or to tell you that they understand how you feel about things.

I always believe that things appear in your life for a reason. For dancing and blogging to appear in your life during your darkest times and for you to hold on dearly to them for such a long time probably meant that these things hold a far greater position in your heart than you can imagine. So don't give up on them.

Even when you grow older and have no time to dance or blog, revisit them once in a while and just immerse yourself in the good feelings that you have associated them with for so long.

Lastly, live life to the fullest.

I'm sure this needs no explanation because you are already doing that now so keep it going.

This is a very long letter so I better stop writing soon. I hope you find my words of advice useful. Stay cheerful and happy and I wish you all the best in your life. Have a good one. :)

Lots of love,

Your Future Self

(This post was inspired by my friend, Hendric's letter from his future self.)
Tags: personal

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